BYUI FAML FPP--How to Be a Better Spouse.

For the next 10 Fridays I will be working on a school project.  It will be based on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints Family Proclamation to the World.  I am going to be including in my blog Ways that we can help our marriage. This week I will be focusing on ways that we can improve ourselves which will improve our marriage. I found my information from an article How to Be a Better Spouse on the website wikihow.com.Please feel free to comment on this page as it could help my grade. Thank you for your time. 

1.       Time. You need to decide what is important to spend your time on. Do you have a job or hobby that is more important than your relationship? You shouldn't. I have learned that it is important to show my spouse that I love spending time with him even if it means putting off things that I need to get down around the house. 

2.      Define where your relationship is. It is important that you evaluate yourself and relationship to determine where you need to work harder. Does your spouse do the same chore every day? Is there a way that you can assist and make this task easier for them? Sometimes just knowing you have a problem is harder than fixing it.

3.      Remember people need adventure and variety to be happy even if they won't admit it. Pick an activity and invite your spouse to be in this activity with you. Pick something that is exciting that you have never been able to do. Get outside of your everyday “bubble” When you experiment you will find something that both of you find challenging, exciting and rewarding.

4.      Be disciplined. Even if you worked all day you should still offer to help out around the house. You shouldn’t assume that because you worked hard all day that your spouse should be expected to assume all tasks. Everyone should get a break. Be disciplined in your life by going to bed early and getting up early. Have good personal grooming habits and cleanliness. If you respect yourself your spouse will find it easy to respect you.

5.      Stay in shape and eat healthy. I would think that when we married our spouse that we were attracted to them physically. We should do our best to stay in shape and eat well so your spouse will still have an attraction to you. It will also help with your sexual stamina.

6.      Address mental health and emotional well being. When you are dealing with thing like depression, anger, or other personality problems take them seriously. If it is needed get help to assist you in these problems. It can improve your relationship when you feel better about yourself.  

7.      Recognize and try to eliminate bad habits. Never do something in excess. If you play video games try to put a daily limit on the activity. Don’t let it consume your life. Avoid all activities that are harmful for your body.  All of these things can endanger your relationship. 

8.      Be independent. Now the website suggested getting a job so you are not depending on someone else. Can I say instead of getting a job rather be prepared if needed to be employed. This means getting a college education. That way if something were to happen where you needed to support your family you could.

9.    To forgive is to forget! If you have chosen to forgive your spouse than you need to forget what happened. Do not bring it up again.  You need to learn to move on. If you cannot forget than you need to pray for spiritual guidance and prepare yourself until you are ready to fully forgive and forget. Do not tell the person you forgive them until you have done this completely.

10.    Respect. Always respect your spouse. Words are very hard to heal. Dr. John Gottman one of the leading marriage researchers has a magic 5 to 1 ratio. He says to every one negative thing you say or do you need five positives to heal. You need to walk away and do not say things that would hurt someone else. I would also like to add respect yourself. Do not say harmful things to yourself that would harm yourself worth.