BYUI FAML FPP--Nurture our Marriage Through Love and Friendship

The Family: A proclamation to the World says "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other." As husband and wife we have the responsibility to love and care for each other above any other marital obligation.  A couple of semesters ago I took a marriage class where I was required to John Gottman The Seven Principles for Making Marriage work. I love and recommend this book.  In the book it states that "happy marriages are based on a deep friendship...a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each others company." As I read this book I realized that my husband and I were not best friends. I had family members that I shared my feelings with more than my husband. I learned from this book that in order to have a loving and lasting relationship with my spouse I needed to make him my best friend. From that point on I made it a goal to have my husband be my best friend. It isn’t easy in fact researching this topic over again has made me realize I need to be better. Developing a friendship is not a one time activity it is ongoing.  

How do we nurture our love and friendship?   

Build a love map. Successful marriages and families suggests learning about our partner’s love preferences. You can do this by building a love map. A love map is information that we want to remember about our spouse, their dreams, joys, fear worries, etc.  It helps us learn about our spouse and how to love them better. My husband and I built a love map and we learned we both have tsimilar preferences which we have been able to use to our benefit.

This link offers a starting place for a love map.

  

Talk as Friends. This is is something that should be done daily. Try and avoid anything at this time that would cause conflict. I have found that this is a time that my husband and I do not talk about the kids but have adult conversation.  At this time we show interest, take turns talking, and don't interrupt or rebuke our spouse.

We have many ways that we can nurture love and friendship and I would start by building a love map about your spouse and truly talking as friends. It might feel awkward at first but it is very beneficial for your long term relationship. 

Next week I will talk about ways to date our spouse to nurture and build our love and friendship, and repairing relationships.

 

BYUI FAML FPP- Finding an Eternal Companion-

Finding an Eternal Companion

How should I get married?  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a pattern that it encourages the youth to follow.  In the beginning dating should be done frequently, in groups and with many different types of good people, preferably members.  This allows a person to find the type of person they might be interested in.   Later, exclusive dating will come in to the picture.  This transition should not be entered into lightly.  It should be discussed between both partners.  This is a step that can lead to harmful circumstances, so it is important that both people are careful when coming to his decision.  In the book Successful marriages and families it says “couples will be better served by having longer periods of exclusive dating, followed by shorter engagements. The exclusive dating stage is the primary period in which to make the decision whether or not to marry someone.” An engagement gives a person the chance to confirm their marriage decision.  Last, the marriage should take place in the temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  It is only here that we be sealed for time and eternity to our eternal companion.  

When is the right time to get married? We will consider prophetic counsel on the timing of marriage.  Elder Dallin H. Oaks has taught “It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adults sons and daughters.”  The Lord has a family ideal in mind that we should aim to achieve.  You may not see marriage in this life time but it is up to you to prepare yourself to be ready when the opportunity presents itself.  “The Lord’s servants have counseled young adults to put marriage as their highest priority in their preparations for adult life, placing it above education, career and other very important pursuit.” This advice does not intend for the youth to rush to marriage but rather to not put it off. 

Who should I marry? While the world would have you marry your soul mate the church would have you marry an eternal companion.  An eternal companion is a person that is worthy to take to the temple and that you can be sealed to for all time and eternity. We desire an eternal marriage because of the commitment and because of the Christ like attitude that should accompany your prospective spouse. (2) Elder Bruce C.Hafen of the seventy says, “Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenantcompanions each give 100 percent.” (1) This is the type of person that we should seek to marry. 

Fishing Day, Homelink Field Day, and safety day. 5-19-13

I am posting for a couple of weeks that I missed. We had a lego building day at toys r us.Ben had his field day at homelink. The kids had fun.  We did kids fishing day where the boys received a nice fishing pole for $10.00 each. It was busy and we kept casting and getting caught in other people’s lines. We also went to safety day and got free helmets. We had a fun couple of days. 

 Isaac decided to play tug of war by himself.

 I know it is blurry but the guy picked Emily up and had her press the button to knock the guy down in the dunk tank.

 Isaac saw Joey running around with this hat on and Isaac put this hat on himself. I just caught him putting it on in this pic. He wants to be like his brother.

 Isaac sneaking into yellow food coloring and making a mess.

 Emily in gymnastics and loving it!