BYUI FAML FPP- Wholesome Family Recreational Activities, and Working Together.

This week is my favorite week because it talks about a subject I have worked very hard at.  We will be talking about how we can build strong families through wholesome family recreation and working together.  

The church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Family Proclamation to the world states: 

 Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith,prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. 

For months our family had planned to go to an amusement park/water park.  We had even put in the extra effort with school to get a free ticket, which my son earned.  However, when it came closer to us going to the park we realized our financial situation wouldn't allow us to attend. I was devastated  I felt that I failed as a parent. As I was pondering and praying what to do I happened to watch this video which comes from the talk Good, Better, Best by Dallin H. Oaks.

  It talks about a child that had enjoyed the simple parts of the vacation more than the extravagant parts. It was then I realized as long as our family was enjoying time together it wouldn't matter that we did the amusement park.  We decided to take a drive to see some friends, hang out on their farm, play in the lake, and visit a museum. We all had an enjoyable time and I feel spent more time together as a family rather than pairing off for rides at an amusement park. 

SuccessfulMarriages and Families states that “our free time should be used wisely to create the best possible life, to promote individual growth and strengthen families. Meaningful recreation does not just happen; it must be prepared for cultivated, and privately defended." I think that it is important to understand that family activities need to be planned, even if it is playing board games. My goal is to make a weekly list of activities to do as a family and then implement them throughout the week. How do you plan your family activities? 

I have found some sites that offer great ideas for wholesome recreational activities.

Family Fun 1

Family Fun 2

Family Fun 3

Families also grow together as they work together. I think the best idea I have heard in regards to families working together is from a fellow classmate.  She said that in her family she grew up on a farm together. She learned that if you didn't do your job others couldn't do theirs. I found that to be so significant to me.  It is important for me to teach my children that in order for a family to function then we need to work together.  We don’t necessarily always have to work together alongside each other but it is important for family members to understand the value of work.

I have always been against children receiving an allowance. I think it is because I never received an allowance. But as my kids have gotten older I have read many books that encourage children receive an allowance. One of those books is The parenting breakthrough, by Merrilee Browne Boyack. Giving children an allowance teaches children the value of money, and they can learn to pay tithing. It suggest that you start them at the age of 5 and stop the allowance at the age of 12. Once the flow of money has been discontinued they will still desire it. This is when they will know they have to work hard to earn money. One boy went around the neighborhood collecting a quarter for taking out his neighbors trash cans and putting them back. Nothing too difficult yet it does require some effort and he was able to earn money. 

SuccessfulMarriages and Families says “When family members work together in the right spirit, a foundation of caring and commitment grows out of their shared experience…connecting us to those we serve and with whom we serve.”

I think now is the time to teach our children to work and serve. They are never too little or too old to learn.  

BYUI FAML FPP- Role of a Mother and a Father

This week we will explore the role of a mother and father in the home. As parents we sometimes feel that we are not making a difference in the lives our children. We may give up and let the media or society raise our children. Today I want to remind you that it is very important that we are a part of our children’s life.

Mothers 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints Family Proclamation to the world states “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”

A while back I was having a tough day as a mother. I was frustrated with the physical appearance of stretch marks on my body, and my children seem to do the opposite of what I desired. I came across this quote and it has changed my view of stretch marks entirely and helped me realize that I am doing the Lords work. 

It is by Bruce and Marie Hafen and they say "Just as a mother’s body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, he [the Savior] said, “I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.” (1 Nephi 21:15–16.) For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice—the sacrifice of begetting life—for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth."

I also read this statement that is too good too paraphrase so I am quoting it for you.

Motherhood: The Ideal Opportunity for Lifelong Learning

Motherhood is the ideal opportunity for lifelong learning. A mother’s learning grows as she nurtures the child in his or her development years. They are both learning and maturing together at a remarkable pace. It’s exponential, not linear. Just think of the learning process of a mother throughout the lifetime of her children. Each child brings an added dimension to her learning because their needs are so varied and far-reaching.
For example, in the process of rearing her children, a mother studies such topics as child development; nutrition; health care; physiology; psychology; nursing with medical research and care; and educational tutoring in many diverse fields such as math, science, geography, literature, English, and foreign languages. She develops gifts such as music, athletics, dance, and public speaking. The learning examples could continue endlessly. Just think of the spiritual learning that is required as a mother teaches about gospel principles and prepares for teaching family home evening and auxiliary lessons in Primary, Relief Society, Young Women, and Sunday School.
My point is, my dear sisters—as well as for the brethren, who I hope are listening carefully—a mother’s opportunity for lifelong learning and teaching is universal in nature. My dear sisters, don’t ever sell yourself short as a woman or as a mother.

A wonderful saying from Successful Marriages and Families that should be posted on your mirror, or fridge or somewhere in your home is this:

“motherhood is part of a woman’s divine identity, her role as mother is defined by a relationship more than a set of tasks." 

Fathers

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints Family Proclamation to the world states "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families."

Successful Marriages and Families says that "fathering is to accept the responsibility of rearing children, and to assist and give support in doing the work of nurturing, love, and guidance in child upbringing.

Research indicates that fathers who involve themselves and connect with children facilitate greater cognitive development, increased social competence, and empathy toward others.

Research suggests that the quality of a father’s relationship with a child’s mother is the key to making it work.  It involves maintaining a positive relationship with a child’s mother, whether they are married to each other or not."

I think the most important quote that I read that I think could make a difference in the way a father parents is in the article Being a Righteous Husband and Father. President Howard W. Hunter “Earn the respect and confidence of your children through your loving relationship with them. A righteous father protects his children with his time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and affection toward children are as much the responsibility of the father as the mother. Tell your children you love them.” 

Overall, parenting is a privilege and we should realize that we are the ones to raise our children. No one else is should do it and no one else can do it better than you!